Liara's Reprieve
by TempestDash
Summary: The Reapers have been destroyed and the galaxy is rebuilding. But Liara doesn't view it as a victory, and has set out to beseech an ancient power to make it all right.
1. Chapter 1

[Note: Follows the Destroy ending for a Paragon female Shepard... at least, initially.]

The decrepit Triton ADS mechanized power suit groaned as the pressure intensified around it, each meter deeper causing more stress on the ancient frame and joints. It was in a freefall now, diving deeper, uncontrollably, towards a black abyss far below seas of the planet only known as '2181 Desponia.' If something bad happened – and the sounds the mech were making certainly indicated it might – there would be no rescue. Just a brief feeling of wetness and then a bloody pulp inside a crushed ball of steel.

Liara T'soni didn't care, really. It seemed hardly worth a second thought. She had a mission to accomplish, and like so many before when she traveled with Shep—when she traveled before the last battle on Earth, she set her mind to the task and allowed no other thoughts to intrude. She had developed the practice on Therum when she was trapped by the Prothean energy field and started to panic. She learned to push her emotions away and focus only the facts: she was stuck and she needed to get free.

She was stuck in the Triton mech right now, but she had no desire to get free. No, her mission this time was different, and more than a little desperate. But if one Asari could bring down the Shadow Broker mostly on her own, well, then she could also undo a terrible tragedy.

At least, she hoped she could.

With a heavy thud, the mech finally hit bottom. Liara turned on the flood lamps and looked around. There were pockets of luminescence around her, enough to give some shape to the sea floor around her but not enough to navigate by. The lamps on the mech provided that detail allowing her to step between the cracks and stomp her way towards the largest fissure.

She felt pressure on her skull and she at first dismissed it as being so deep within the ocean, but when it increased as she walked on roughly level ground, she reassessed the situation. Something ... someone was pushing on her mind, seeking entry. Probing. Perhaps someone less skilled might have already been flayed alive by the pressure, but Liara was a talented biotic, she knew how to put up defenses. There were scores better than her, of course, but she was at least good enough to put up a decent defense.

"I know you're there," she said aloud, knowing it was only the echo in her mind that would actually amplify the thought loud enough for the interloper to hear. "I wish to speak."

The pressure in her mind subsided and there was a rumbling beneath the mech as a flurry of bubbles arose from the largest fissure in the ocean floor. The water around her swirled and the mech groaned again as its footing slipped slightly and she sank partially into the ocean floor.

Then she saw it. The entity was huge. The scientists called it Leviathan, and it was one of the last of its species. The first species. The ones who had created the Reapers.

It dwarfed her tiny mech the way the largest Reapers did, filling the entire view out of the cockpit of the Triton. It was probably several kilometers tall and at least half a kilometer wide. Liara was amazed that such a creature could even exist. The biology behind it must be stunning unless it was a composite creature, like sea coral. Even then, for it to operate as a single entity it must-

Suddenly the pressure on her mind returned with a ferocity that blew apart her well trained defenses and split her mind open, crushing her in darkness.

*** [ ME3-DLC ] ***

With a start, Liara realized she was standing. On what, she couldn't tell. It had no texture, no shape, just a feeling that something was suspending her feet above an inky blackness. Above her the sky was also black though just a shade purple. It reminded her of twilight on Thessia, just as the light of the sun was about to vanish forever, the sky fading from purple to black before the stars could be seen.

"What is it you want?"

Liara's head jerked downwards and she saw her standing there. Tall, red headed, freckles, the uniform, everything. Her heart nearly broke in two.

"S-Shepard?" she said. She was unable to hold back. Her emotions rushed forward and destroyed all the discipline she'd developed over the last three years.

Shepard looked down at her body and shrugged. Her voice was ... technically correct, but it was cold. Devoid of any of the fire that burned within the real Shepard. "I am he that you sought. State your business."

Liara closed her eyes and tried to calm her heart. She took a steady breath and tried not to think about what she was seeing. "This is all in my mind," she said. She opened her eyes once more and stared evenly back at ... at the being taking Shepard's form. "You're just taking on a shape familiar to me."

"Speak your business!" snapped Shepard.

It hurt. Liara could barely withstand the sharp tone from her. It felt like being speared in the gut.

"You-you talked to Shepard before," she said, her rehearsed speech falling apart in her mind. "You said you would help her."

"We did," said Shepard. "And your people were victorious."

Liara nodded. "Yes. But Shepard died."

"As did most of my kind," said Shepard and for a moment she turned away, almost regretful. "The Reapers could not be destroyed without a cost. Even in victory, still we are headed towards extinction."

Liara swallowed and tried again to quell the heavy beating in her heart. It wasn't even real, she felt like a child, unable to control her own abstracted mind. She felt like a storm cloud, pulled and pushed by the prevailing winds and whose only recourse is to rain.

She clenched her fists. So be it. She would rain.

"Bring her back," she demanded.

The Shepard in front of her stared and then, quite unexpectedly, she laughed. Loudly. Uncontrollably. She doubled over in fits of bawdy laughter.

"You are as an infant!" said the Shepard through her tears. "Shall I make the universe anew, as well?"

Liara held firm. "Your technology and knowledge far exceed any in this cycle," she said. "We could never have created the Reapers, but you made them millions of years ago."

"And so we are as to gods?" asked Shepard with a condescending smile. "We created something that was even beyond our own control. Devastated by our flawed understanding of balance. You think that makes us mighty?"

"I think it makes you the only ones who might know a way," said Liara, frowning.

Shepard's smile faded and she turned and waved a hand in Liara's direction. "Go away, child."

The world around them started to slip in Liara's eyes and she grit her teeth, digging her mental feet in. "No!" she shouted as she forced the entity to stay. "You have to try!"

Shepard looked surprised as she turned back to stare at Liara. She wasn't sure if that surprise was because of Liara's mental strength... or her arrogance.

"Why should I do this?" asked Shepard.

"Because she is everything to this galaxy," said Liara. "She united the races. She brought peace to plants torn by war. She cannot be replaced. We will descend into war again without her as a leader. She is more a symbol of what we can do together than the defeat of the Reapers is."

Shepard studied Liara carefully. "Nothing lives forever. Even if she lived, you would have to do without her one day. It is no benefit to your 'cycle' to have her stay prolonged. You will either learn from what she has already taught you, or your cycle will end even without the Reapers to force it."

Shepard's eyes narrowed and Liara felt a pressure on her mind again. "But you don't care. If you had to bring back the Reapers to save Shepard you would, because this has nothing to do with the fate of the galaxy. I am not so alone that I cannot recognize love." She turned and took three steps away again. "This is about regret."

Liara trembled and she felt wetness on her cheeks. "Ev-every day I can't see her is a day I know the Reapers won," she whispered.

"Move on, child," said Shepard. "Draw strength from your loss, as you did to find me here."

"I can't," she whimpered. "It's a hole in my mind that cannot be filled. We did so much together, but never were... together. Never a break, never a moment to relax. Just mission after mission. Always duty before self. Always the galaxy before our lives together. We did it all so that we could see the end, reach the day we could relax... but it never came." She couldn't help it, she was openly crying now. "It will never come."

She fell to her knees and ground the heels of her palm into her eyes to try and stop the flow of tears. "Not even a single day of joy."

She cried into her hands for several moments before she felt a soft hand on her shoulder. A hand so familiar even the touch made her heart quiver. She looked up to see the stoic Shepard, the false image, looking down at her with perhaps just a slightly furrowed brow.

"And what would you do with this extra day of joy?" asked Shepard. "If you could have only one?"

Liara's mouth hung open and felt try. What would she do? What wouldn't she do?

"Say goodbye," she whispered.

Shepard looked into her eyes and for that moment she saw her Shepard. The real Shepard. There was sympathy in that look, and sadness. That aching sadness Shepard always had within her. The survivor's guilt she kept tucked away to drive her on but could never be acknowledged, never be felt.

It occurred to her just then that Leviathan probably felt that for its own people. Maybe that's why it hid below the surface even now that the threat has passed. It was grief.

"I cannot bring her back," said Shepard quietly. "But I can give you one day."

Liara's eyes widened.

"One day," she repeated. "With which you can change nothing. Her fate will always be the same. But you can have your day."

"How?" asked Liara.

Then Shepard smiled. And it was all Shepard. A knowing smile combined with endless kindness. "Your people have only scratched the surface of the Mass Relays."

*** [ ME3-DLC ] ***

"Dr. T'soni?"

Liara stirred in her bed, pushing her head into the pillow to drown out the incessant humming of all her Shadow Broker equipment shoved into her quarters on the Normandy. Glyph included.

"Dr. T'soni? Commander Shepard is paging you."

"Very funny, Glyph," groaned Liara. She wished she could back to sleep. She had a wonderful dream where there was a chance to be united with Shepard again. She couldn't remember how it ended though. Something about mass effect fields...? She wondered if there was something to that.

"Dr. T'soni? I am not joking, the Commander has a question for you."

Liara growled and then sat up, throwing her blankets off her bed and staring at the glowing sphere angrily. "Glyph!" she snapped. "You know how I feel..." she trailed off.

Wait a minute. Why was she on the Normandy again? She'd left not long after the battle for Earth. She was... her equipment should be on Thessia now. How did it get back on the Normandy? How did she get back on the Normandy?"

She threw her legs over the edge of the bed and walked over to her console and hailed the bridge.

"Commander Alenko?" she said. "Where are we heading?"

There was a pause and then another voice replied. "_Commander_ Alenko?" said Joker. "You know something we don't, Liara?"

"Joker?" said Liara, surprised.

"And we're heading to the Citadel," said Joker. "Which I _thought_ was for some repairs, but maybe I've been lied to."

Liara tried to parse what was going on, because everything was totally wrong. Joker shouldn't still be on the Normandy, and neither should she.

"Liara?" came Shepard's voice over the comm.

"S-Shepard?" Liara replied, feeling like the world had fallen out from under her.

"Good, you're up," continued Shepard, completely like someone who wasn't dead. "I'm a little concerned with leaving the Normandy unmanned during these repairs in case there is still a Cerberus presence on the Presidium. Can you work with EDI and Traynor to encrypt the main data core in case there's another incident?"

"I... I'm ..." started Liara but she was having trouble thinking. She looked up and focused on the array of monitors in front of her and realized that it was showing the war map with the Reaper forces still on it. In the corner of the lowest monitor there was even a timestamp. She couldn't believe what it read.

"Liara? Are you okay? Do I need to come down there?" asked Shepard.

The war was still going on. They hadn't yet lost the Citadel. Shepard was still alive.

Shepard was still alive!

Her dream was real.

"Yes!" Liara said so excitedly that she lost all composure. She quickly shook her head and took a calming voice. "I-I mean, yes, actually, I would like to consult with you on something, Shepard."

"Uh, alright," Shepard's voice said. "I'll be down there soon."

Liara smiled so wide she worried her face would split.

"And find out about this _Commander_ Alenko business," she heard Joker's voice say.

*** [ ME3-DLC ] ***

Note: Just a little plot bunny that came to me. I'm not sure if I'll continue it through the whole Citadel DLC. I certainly don't have time right now to do so. But it came to me, and I thought it might have been a better framing for the last DLC than allowing it to just be another mission that you could potentially do at any time during ME3.

I've always believed Liara - who is always shown as the strong one - is hiding great pain. Losing Shepard twice... well, I think that would tax even the best of us.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2 – Conversations with Shepard

*** [ ME3-DLC ] ***

Shepard looked at her with a kind smile and a slight lift in her eyebrows as she sat at Liara's bed and watched the doctor pace around her quarters on the Normandy.

She was humoring her.

"I'm sure it all felt very real," said Shepard to her. "I've been having these awful... well, anyway, dreams can be that way sometimes."

Of course it felt real. It was real.

"I assure you, I have come back in time," said Liara firmly.

"How?" asked Shepard. "I mean, we've seen incredible stuff in the last two years, but time travel? If you've got some Asari secret for it, I'd love to hear. I'd like to go back and throw Udina in a box and lose the key before he even set foot on the Citadel."

Liara sighed in frustration. "I don't... it's unclear. I know Leviathan said it used the Mass Relays but I can't remember exactly what he did." She put her hands on her hips as soon as she saw Shepard gearing up for a retort. "But it worked. It wasn't a dream. I didn't just come back from tomorrow, I'm from six months in the future."

"Where's my Liara then?" asked Shepard, then she looked stricken as Liara rose her eyes in shock. "Uh, not that you're not... uh, I mean. The you from the first time through. Where is she? You. Her?"

"I... am her," said Liara hesitantly. She put a hand to her forehead already predicting the next conversation. "My consciousness has returned and has displaced myself." She felt the side of her abdomen slowly. "I received a scar during the final battle, but it appears to be gone now. So I believe I left my body behind."

"And the Mass Relays did that," said Shepard.

"Yes," said Liara with an exasperated breath.

Shepard looked skeptically at her. Liara considered simply shoving the memories into Shepard's skull forcibly.

"You know how unbelievable this sounds," said Shepard. "Right?"

"As unbelievable as ancient machines returning from the darkness of space to destroy everything?" asked Liara with an arched brow.

Shepard smiled again, this time somewhat innocently. "Okay, you've got a point."

"Don't you trust me?" asked Liara softly.

"Liara..." Shepard sighed and stood up, walking slowly over to her and placing her hands on the asari's shoulders. "You know I do. But you also know we're fighting an enemy that has persistently tried to get into our minds. I believe in you. I just don't know if what you remember is real."

"It is real," Liara said, looking into Shepard's eyes. "I couldn't have imagined those terrible six months."

Shepard nodded slowly. "So what do we do? How do we prevent your terrible future?"

Liara frowned and looked down. "I do not know," she admitted. There was so little time left, she wasn't sure what was even within their control anymore. To the best of her memory, the only things they did after this date was attack the Illusive Man's base to get Vendetta back and then start the war on Earth. She didn't even remember doing this last visit to the Citadel for repairs. "The Citadel. We must evacuate it."

"Why?" asked Shepard.

"Because the Citadel is the Catalyst," said Liara, realizing the key piece of information Shepard didn't know at this time. "This place will become a warzone. Nobody will survive."

"The Citadel is the Catalyst? How is that possible?" asked Shepard. "Nobody survives?"

"The Crucible was assembled and improved over multiple cycles," explained Liara. "At some point the Citadel was incorporated into the design. Vendetta was not more descriptive than that." She shook her head, wishing she had asked more questions at the time, but they were in a rush. "And yes, nobody survives. I do not know if The Illusive Man is completely indoctrinated at this point or if he truly believes he can use the Catalyst to control the Reapers, but he takes over Citadel, closes the arms, and brings it to Earth."

"Earth?" asked Shepard. "Why there?"

Liara shook her head. "Probably because he believes that the Reapers should be controlled from Earth. Or perhaps there was another agenda. I never see the Illusive Man again, and if you do..." she trailed off and felt that tightening in her heart again. She was slipping back into her objective-focused behavior again. She almost forgot why she was doing this in the first place. "You don't get a chance to tell us."

Shepard swallowed. "I'm dead," she said. Liara nodded. "And the Reapers?"

Liara shook her head slightly. "They are utterly destroyed when the Crucible fires."

Shepard looked conflicted. She stepped away from Liara and walked slowly back towards the bed before turning and leaning on the glass divider between the sleeping area and the workstations. "Then maybe it's for the best."

"No!" Liara said loudly, and began storming towards her.

Shepard held up her hands defensively. "Liara, we win."

"At the cost of your life," said Liara, poking Shepard in the chest between her breasts. "You, who made victory possible."

"Others died too, didn't they?"

"Millions die," said Liara.

"Then you can't risk all that just for me," said Shepard. "What if my death is what makes victory possible?"

Liara frowned and felt a lump in her throat. "I don't know, but it may not, it may have been pointless."

Shepard reached up and touched the asari on the cheek. "Liara, of course it's not pointless. We win."

"Shepard..." started Liara but Shepard put a finger against her lips.

"I don't want to die," Shepard said softly. "But I didn't come this far to flinch at the last moment. This war is bigger than us."

"No," Liara whimpered to her lover. "Always them. It's always them first. Why... why don't we ever get a moment to be selfish?"

Shepard's eyes looked pained as she gently took Liara in her arms and held her tightly. After a minute of holder her, she spoke quietly. "This can be our moment. What happens while we're on the Citadel this trip?"

"I-I don't remember," said Liara. It was sort of bothering her that she had a gap in her memories when it came to this visit, actually, but with everything else going on...

"Well, Anderson said there was something on the Citadel he wanted me to have. After that, if we can manage to stay away from firefights and desperate chases for a bit, then let's enjoy ourselves." Shepard leaned back slightly so she could look Liara in her tear-filled eyes. "Let's be selfish, just for today."

Liara swallowed. "Okay," she said, and her heart strained against the pain. Again. She was going to lose her again.

"I'll meet you down in the lower Wards when I'm done with Anderson," said Shepard. Then she caressed Liara's cheek and kissed one of her tears away. "Don't think about the future. It may have all just been a dream." She smiled and broke apart from their embrace and started heading towards the door.

"Maybe," said Liara, struggling with her own breath.

"I'll call you when I'm done," said Shepard with a wave. And then she was gone.

Liara felt to her knees and held her arms around her sides. It wasn't a dream. It was a nightmare. And it was going to happen again.

*** [ ME3-DLC ] ***

Note: I saw a few people immediately fav/follow this story and felt guilty for just flinging this out there with no plan to continue. So I continued it. Ah well, so much for my busy schedule...


	3. Chapter 3

**Part 3**

***** [ ME3-DLC ] *****

Liara's eyes swept over the wreckage and felt a twist in her stomach. She wondered what the purpose of the Citadel really was, whether it was built by Leviathan's people or by the Reapers, or whether it was created during one of the many cycles between then and now. So little of what they 'knew' about the past was fiction created by the Reapers, or had been concluded on with only a fraction of the information they needed.

Regardless, the entire place stank of death for her now. Both the death that had occurred only weeks before and the death that was to come. She frowned deeply.

"Little Wing?"

Liara's head jerked up and she looked back to see Matriarch Aethyta leaning over the bar at Apollo's Café in the Presidium. She had her brow pinched and curved upwards, looking concerned.

"Sorry," said Liara. She pointed over at the large piece of the upper balconies that was sticking up out of the pond and hanging slightly over the Commons. A swarm of bug-like workers were methodically cutting it up and carrying off the pieces. "The Keepers are cleaning up the mess from the Cerberus attack." She shook her head. "They shouldn't even bother. They won't finish before..." she trailed off.

"Before this whole place goes up in smoke?"

Liara turned fully to face Aethyta and look her father in the eyes. "You believe me, don't you?"

Aethyta stared at her then made a small smile. "I do," she said simply. "Though I am slightly less inclined to believe you had a fever dream than perhaps the rest of the matriarchs."

Liara sighed. "Or Shepard, apparently."

"Oh, the lover doubts you?" said Aethyta.

"She believes the Reapers are trying to indoctrinate me," Liara said, slightly scowling. "Or implied as much."

"You really think she believes that?" asked Aethyta.

Liara said nothing.

"What did she say?" pressed Aethyta.

"She said she'd rather not change history if I come from a future where we win against the Reapers," said Liara.

"That certainly _sounds_ like she believes you," said Aethyta. "Though her capacity for self-sacrifice is more boundless than I thought."

"She _always_ sacrifices what she wants," said Liara, loudly. "She never takes when she can give. She won't even save her own life if her death can do more!" Her biotics briefly flared up in frustration, startling some of the other patrons of the café.

Aethyta didn't flinch. She reached out and touched her daughter gently on the shoulder. Liara looked up at her with widened eyes.

"I think you're more like her than you'd care to admit," said the Matriarch.

Liara frowned at her father and then sighed. She shook her head and let the blue corona dissipate. "I want things for myself," she said firmly.

"Clearly," smiled Aethyta. "And I imagine Shepard does too. But she – but the both of you have mountains of responsibilities that you can't always just shirk off for a date. Or did you live on that giant flying fortress for months alone because you wanted to work on your meditation?"

Liara sighed. "I wasn't completely alone, I had Feron with me." She paused. "Occasionally."

"While Shepard sat still, with_ nothing at all to do_ on Earth, awaiting a trial," said Aethyta. She crossed her arms and looked at her daughter. "It seems to me, that you had your share of opportunities as well, and chose to avoid them."

"If I had not researched the Prothean Archive on Mars we would _never_ have—"

"But you didn't know that," interrupted Aethyta. "You made a choice to pursue that knowledge, _within the same system_ as Shepard, because you believed it was more important than making time with your lover."

"I—" started Liara but she hesitated and her eyes began to crinkle at the sides. She let out a anguished sigh and buried her head in her hands on the top of the bar. "The universe hates me."

Aethyta quietly laughed and then put her had on Liara's shoulder, gently patting her on the back. "Believe it or not, little wing, you are young, and this is not a situation unique to you."

Liara lifted her head slightly and looked at Aethyta evenly. "You fought ancient menacing machines from the dawn of time when you were young as well?"

"Well, it certainly seemed that way at times," said Aethyta with a grin.

Liara buried her head again.

"I _mean_ that I struggled to find time with Benezia too," said Aethyta. "All people with responsibility have to fight to find time to spend with their lovers. Sometimes you fight tooth and nail to get that time. And sometimes you just ... well, you go your separate ways and find new people that interest you."

"I'm not leaving Shepard," Liara said, muffled, into her arms.

"Yes, but she's leaving you," said Aethyta.

Liara's head snapped up at looked at her father in shock.

"Don't be surprised, _you're_ the time traveler," said Aethyta with a warning look. "She doesn't want to, but she is, and you have to see this as the way of things or you'll be right back here crying on my bar again in six months."

"I don't think the Presidium even exists in my time," said Liara.

"Not the point," said Aethyta. She took a deep breath and tried to look sympathetic. "Even if you were to pull her, kicking and screaming away from the final battle and lock her away to keep her safe, it will _eventually_ end. With your death or hers. Humans are fiery balls of passion but they are a brief candle to the Asari and you can't believe it's going to be any different with Shepard."

"She came back from the dead already," said Liara.

"And you should thank the goddess that you got more time with her after that and not count on it happening again," said Aethyta. She struck her finger down on the surface of the bar. "This is the time to be living. Any time you are together with her. Because you don't know what tomorrow will bring. Time travel or not."

Liara's eyes were wet as she stared. "So many died."

"And I imagine many lived," sat Aethyta. "So which among them would you trade for Shepard? I know you'd give yourself but would you give me?"

Liara looked abruptly away.

"Oh, I see," said Aethyta. "Me too, huh?" She looked off over the Presidium towards the ponds and sighed. "I wonder if Benezia waits for me."

"Father you can leave the-" said Liara urgently but was interrupted.

"Oh, don't get that way," Aethyta said with a shake of her head. "If I must endure the fall of Thessia with dignity I will embrace my own end in the same way."

"But you _don't _have to_ die_," pleaded Liara.

"And instead you'd like me to run?" asked Aethyta. "Leave people behind who have no chance in order to save myself? And then I must live on afterwards?" She shook her head. "When you reach your Matriarch days you'll understand better, Little Wing."

"I'll never understand suicide," said Liara.

"It's not suicide, it's dying as you lived," said Aethyta. "Contrary to what Cereberus scientists might believe, we all _must_ die eventually. It's only how and where that we can control. If I flee and die in an exploding shuttle or from a Reaper attack on Illium, how is that better than staying here, where I know people are in danger, and fighting on their behalf?"

"Because you lose," said Liara.

"Then I'll lose with dignity," said Aethyta. "And I'll lose knowing my precious daughter lives, and still lives, six months from now." She reached out and took Liara's hands. "I also hope that you try and keep yourself alive for even longer."

Liara was silent and stared at Aethyta's hands covering her own.

"Where is Shepard now?" asked the Matriarch.

"She was talking to the council and then she was going to meet Joker in the Lower Wards," said Liara quietly.

"Then go to her," said Aethyta. "Enjoy what you have, now, while you have it."

Liara frowned but looked up at her father. She slowly nodded.

Then her Omni-tool lit up.

"Liara? Liara!" came Joker's voice, filled with panic. "Are you near the Lower Wards? Shepard and I just got shot at!"


End file.
